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Write Awful

Use cliches, mixed metaphors, tense changes, whatever you're not supposed to do when you write an essay.

I think this might sound cliche jk its terrible

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 10:06

rosses are red vilets are vilet and im petty sure they are not blue because when people see a rainbow and someone says it purpl they ar lik bruh its vilet but that is purple man like really and who the heck says vilets are blu because no man they ar purpl like a broos from a sof tbal and who la heck was like oh girls need to play with this and guys need to play with this like bro we re the same man we should all play basbal or sof tbal i dont play thos tho because i play socor and bascetbal i stol the bal a lot tho 2 dont mak many basket tho i lernd to do la ups know i short agnst tal peps lik tannor.  writins fun

pew pew too too

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 10:01

us nabor pew to wndw t wall  jump tooo wall off hus in fense us bush swin rok to nabor..back at i "NiCe ThRo DuDe" rck at hed hit wal duckk duckkkk jump in poool swim monkey swim, swiim monnkeyb swm,, swim monkey swom.MoNkey hit nabor N shrekd him in pooll,, NAbor yellls "WhERre''s MA DoNkEy" . Doncey flails toooo PooOl anD ShRekks Ma boi. ME run inTo Waaall and jmp into woll window SpRiNt up stares and fined BiGgIe ChEeEsE anD ma BOI DonKy Doo and hillybILly BUCK.

I likes gorilaa

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:58

wen i waz 2 my mommee n daddee tuk me 2 da zoo der wii saw a gorilaa da gorilaa waz bigg n scaree he at larg bunanans allso da gorilaa poopd a wot da poop waz rely BIG me pikd up da poop n poot it on i brudder. he scremd n ran arond n da gorilaa scremd 2 wen wii go hom mommee sid wii cud pla on we fac gorilaa in da bakyarrd i waz soe happee dat wii cud beecuz i likes gorilaas a wot wen brudder n me had 2 go bak insid beecuz it waz rely lat, wii playd a wot ov gorilaa gams

The escape

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:51


By, Ezra Lanfear

PART 1: My name is Cole and I am a prisoner at the war kingdom. I got arrested in 1372, august 27. I got framed for putting poison in the king's drink i've made friends in the prison well 2 friends Jimmy the smart one, and Sean the strong one. Were setting up a plan to escape, when we get our food Sean will grab the guard's arm and knock him out, after that we’ll grab the guard's keys and unlock all the doors. We will knock out all the guards in the prison and take all their swords, after that we will open up the door and get ready for anything. While all  the prisoners are attacking, me, Sean, and Jimmy will all be searching for horses to get out of the village. Ok, Sean said i’m ready, I am too, Jimmy said. Alright let’s go.

PART 2: Everything was going fine until we opened the door, it looked like one of the guards had gotten away and told the whole kingdom we were coming. Then I saw calvin the captain of the guards and the person who framed me. I still remember what had happened like it was yesterday, I was the king's servant and I was going to get him water from the well, the general was already there and said don't you worry I already have it right here, there you go he said, the king will be pleased I said. When I got back to the king’s room he said he smelled something funny, I told him that maybe one of the children were throwing food again but I didn't know what it was. I gave him his water and food and when he took a drink of his water he screamed and yelled POISON!!! And yelled for the guards to arrest me while he sprinted down to the doctor. Life in prison is what you get you piece of scum. When I got down there Jimmy told his story of pickpocketing someone while Sean was caught by a guard after robbing people. But anyways back to what happened while everyone was fighting we snuck around the wall and there it was the carriage, but wait where’s Sean Jimmy asked. Oh no I looked back and saw Sean running to the city, what is he doing I asked, I forgot to tell you he has a 12 year old kid named Ezra. Turns out Sean was going to take Ezra from the orphanage and we were going to take him with us. We have to go after him I said. Fine let's go as we were running to the orphanage we ran into a few guards luckily we out ran them and after we got to the orphanage, Sean was already there and he was already walking out the door. We have to go now ok! We looked back and it looked like the prisoners had fled to hide in the city, RUN NOW I said, into this house, turns out it wasn't a house it wasn't a house it was the war room. No wonder this is called the war kingdom I said. Barrels of gunpowder and chests of swords and armor surrounded the room. I have a plan Jimmy said but it's pretty crazy, how crazy I said, really really crazy. First get some armor and swords, then get all of the barrels of gunpowder you see and put it in the middle of the room, am I thinking would I think were gonna do? “Cole said” Yes yes we are.

PART 3: We put all of it in the middle of the room and then we found out that there was an underground tunnel leading to the general's house, are you sure this is a good idea going to  general Trump house? It's the only way, the lock is about to break off the door so we better hurry up. Hows Ezra doing? I'm fine, I gotta say I saw this coming and don't forget how many guards are after us. Ya thanks for reminding us Ez “Sean said”. As soon as I say run, you run ok, Jimmy lit the gunpowder with some flint and steel he found in the chest. RUN as soon as we all got into the tunnel I quickly closed to door behind us. We were halfway down thetunnel when I heard it, BOOM! Followed by screams and pieces of wood and metal flying past us. When we opened the door, Jimmy said ok time to get out of here. Here's the plan we will go off of the plan before where we find a carriage and storm out of the village. Wait a minute, Cole walked upstairs and told us to hurry and get up here. I found out why he wanted us up there so fast, it looked like the whole town's gold was up there. Quickly stuff your pockets with as much as you can. “Cole said” After our pockets were almost overflowing we almost couldn't find a horse with a carriage. After that I was glad that Sean kept a secret from me because it was the best secret ever. Ezra wasn't the only reason Sean went back, I guess when sean was passing by he whispered to one of the prisoners, meet me by the General's house with five carriages and all the prisoners by 5:30. It all was going so well until I realized that they shut the gate and every guard in the village was in the way of getting out. I yelled to the prisoners and said get your swords out we're gonna ram the gate. Oh no we're not, we will never break the lock on that gate. “Jimmy said” Thats why im about to do this, He jumped onto the horse, unlatched the wood from it and sprinted to the gate, NO! “Ezra said” I didn't realize he took the gate keys from the chest in the war room when I wasn't looking. He killed two guards and then unlocked the gate for us. When we were passing by I didn't realize General calvin was in the middle of it. I quickly grabbed by sword from my waist and cut off Trump's head. After that we were passing through the gates the last I saw of Sean was him being carried away by guards. - Cole Langlois journal entry 1373 December 12.


The sloth and the cheetah

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:33

So one day their was  a  sloth named frank, he liked to eat cheese so he could go fast. One day he challenged cheetah to a race. Now ceetah hasn't had cheese his whole life but is still the chap of the indi 500906. Sloth and Cheetah went to the starting line and was off, they were going 32478mph when an old ferret was crossing the road and the sloth helped grany get to the other side while the cheetah was still chaseing pavments. Then the sloth caught and won and the life lesson is to eat always cheese than brocoli. 

I is a tiny penguin and it is hot

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:32

     Today is hot as a kat, the warmst day us has experenced in long timee. me tiny penguin has happy. i is happy as a rock! "@%@#$%@&$&@!" exclaimeses big penguin. "it two hot!!!". other big won sayes "i is to hot!! i is hot as a block of freezed fush!". al ofs a suden, polerer baars came and and sayeses "i is furryes i has no hot!". then, as sudden as a brick, it has get cold.

the awful day

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:27

  On a planet called awful and today was the most awfulless day.  First thing in the morning people had to do a salsa dance litterly you had to dance with salsa on your heads.  Second thing you have to do is eat speggeti with slugs.  The absulut worst thing is desert  eating ten boulders without chewing. In conclusion thats the worst day on awful.


Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:24

Tis iz how u writ awfull i geus 

the awful day

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:23

On a planet called awful and today was the most awfulless day.  First thing in the morning people had to do a salsa dance litterly you had to dance with salsa on your heads.  Second thing you have to do is eat speggeti with slugs.  The absulut worst thing is desert  eating ten boulders without chewing. In conclusion thats the worst day on awful.

I am good at writing

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:20

it was a gooder day than theyesterday an I and sally were wakpling down the sreet to go home and then we wanted to go to digneyy land and have fun it was funner than the other times I and sally went

Dexter day out

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:08

Hello my name is dexter. Some people say that I am smart and some say that I am SUPER DUPER average. I don’t believe them. The only person that I believe is my army operator that I was currently in an attack helicopter with on my way to a war.

“You look as nervous as a brave knight” The operator said

“I know i’m as sweaty as a dry towel” I said. Just then we landed in my backyard and I went inside to have a sandwich.  Bang! I rolled through the door guns out demanding a sandwich and just then a lion took me by surprise. I guess that what you get when you smell sweeter than a trash can. The lion bit into my arm I would defend myself but I don’t hurt animals. The lion sunk it’s human like teeth into my flesh. I shrieked. “This hurts as bad as a shower” I screamed. I lunged forward and died.



Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 09:06

The thumping in my brain was like a sharp kitten inside my head I wanted too stop running thru thee woods, but I couldn’t I liked the feeling of thee cold sun Pretty sune, I fell unto the ground and felt the grass touch my arme like sharp, piercing silk I needed to get going tho, for they would finde me if I stayd put for two long As I got up, I notised the akeing of my arme from when I fell i still notised the burning sensashun of the silk like grass, but now it was more like fiery snow. Hot and painful. I new they wer coming but they werent the sharpesst chiken in the hen house so i hoped they wouldnt finde mee. I saw some proveyeded shelter in the rutes of a tree. I wonderd if maybe an animal lived here because it was as cozy as a pile of tacks.

The flat lady

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 08:29

I woke up to the sound of my parents calling out “wakey, wakey the ostrich is baking” yup the that's left it was gonna be a good day as long as the flat lady didn’t sing. So I jumped out of bed and side down stair and saw pete the quail was take out the oustridge from the oven then crashed into the sharpest orange in the fruit jar! Then the flat lady sang and the wold imploded. As it happened I was as resistant as a cockroach. I had to put hand to my ears because her voice was as piercing as a blade of grass.


My dog

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 08:28

My dog with the chicken in the toaster went to the aquarium and farted. It liked to fart because it was awesome. The fish out side all died. Then my dog went back to the kenel and got it's rabies shot. Then I went out into the snow, fell down the hill, farted into space and came back and down to let my dog out of here kenel. Then I saw Sponge Bob eat Patrick and go to sandys dome and sleep on here table. After that I went scuba diving with a bunch of tigers and chased some chickens.


Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 08:26

 This is what I have to do on day's like this, wright. I have to right something even if its tarable so I'm not going to try to fix my writing I'm going to make it tarable. correct speling nope, actual words nope, everything I'm supposed to be writing to make this pease good nope.


Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 08:19

On a warm winter day in december in Vermont. It was raining cats and goats. Inside the lovely tree dome where there is a goose named Frank and a pig named Karitiona. Neither of them were the sharpest chicken in the toaster. Holy lamp there is a wet frog in our driveway. But they don't have a driveway because they live in a dome hardy har har. One day they jumped of the Grand Lantern and landed in the green sea the sea was as cold as a ice cube under a heat lamp. They got out of the cold water and then they see something a albino fish, a jumping chicken nugget or maybe a black cat? They walked over there and the weird thing was crying all you have to think in you head is some people just need a high 6. We walked away. The goose started wheezing on the roof in the tree dome. He fell of the roof and fell asleep and woke up 1000 seconds later and then he passed out.


                    -The end



Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 08:15

The chicken with the big head was watching me like I was tiger stocking an elk. It said and I quote “you smell like you were in a seed bath.”  

“You smell like you just ate a piece of paper,” I say “and you look like you have rabies.”

That’s when the mongoose jumped out of the bush and started to chase the chicken like an ostrich chasing a dogey.

“Nard,” says the mongoose “Ima get chu.”

“No you’re not,” says the chicken “for I have a lime in the coconut and I will drink it all up. This will give me super powers and I will turn into Super Chicken Mongomery Mcdonald Mcdue the third!" The the chicken grabs the mongoose and flies away.