I Am The One Who Is Trying My Best- By Nikki Secoy

Submitted by Writer on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 12:50

I am the one who is trying my best everyday, I've been lied to, hated by my loved ones, forgotten...but I always try. Im never really noticed because my anxiety gets the best of me. Im quiet, usually confused, and always have to fight my own head. I have to plan my every move before I enter a building, if anythng doesnt go as planned I panic. If anyone talks to me I freeze, but I fight myself. Nobody thinks I try, but I try every single day; from the moment I wake up to the second I fall asleep. I try, I try, I try. But im only persived as lazy, not caring, or just being rude. But on the inside im screaming at myself. I want to talk. I dont want to only feel safe in the back of the classroom. I dont even feel at peace in my own home. Nobody understands, but I want you to know im trying my best, and i always have been constantly trying. But sometimes its hard to wake up early when your up till 4am having panic attacks, or overthinking the next day, and sometimes its hard to be a part of the group when you feel like your drownding. But I try my best. I try to please anyone I can to just be accepted. I am the one who is trying my best.